Strong is the New Skinny

If you're friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram, you know that I spent the weekend hauling my body up and down a ski hill, crawling through mud and climbing over obstacles with my friends. As much as it hurt and sucked (as much as it still hurts and sucks), I loved every second and I recommend that everyone spends a few weekends out of the year pushing themselves like this. I further recommend it if you plan on doing it with your closest girlfriends.

My friend's boyfriend started a company called Civilian Military Combine a few years ago and yes, while the name evokes thoughts of big guys in camo, it's actually an incredible event that more girls need to get into. And I'm not just talking about the six-packed, mohawked, CrossFit obsessed girls either. I'm talking about the rest of us who need to stop being afraid of a little discomfort. Let's be honest, if you have sneakers, a gym membership and a little willpower, you can pretty much conquer the world.

Whenever I tell people what these races entail - and our team has only done a couple - there's sometimes a really quizzical response from other females. "How long was it?", "Mud, huh?" or "Oh God, nice job but I would never...." Apparently being strong and doing CrossFit isn't automatically looked at as sexy or feminine BUT being one of the countless waif-like women roaming around Manhattan in size 0 Helmut Lang is? Whatever.

I will be the first to say that trying to be super thin without the hyperactive metabolism to make it happen naturally is miserable. You know what? At a certain point, no matter how little I eat or how many squats I do, I will just never get below a certain size and I'm okay with that. In fact, my old obsession with trying to be a size 2 has been replaced with an overwhelming need to do an unassisted pull-up.

Not to shove my newfound ethos down your throat but let's stop with the insane dieting.  Let's. Just. Stop.

I'm not saying eat crap and resign your life to sweatpants but just...eat. Eat small portions of healthy, good food when you're hungry. Stop idolizing anorexic and bulimic celebrities and exercise. By exercise I mean running, jumping, sweating, grunting, working hard and kicking ass.

All of these things will help you realize your full potential, both physically and mentally. It will help you to become more self-confident, more capable, and literally (and figuratively) stronger. A girl who is encouraged to be strong instead of just being skinny will have higher self-esteem, respect, ambitions, and self-worth.  She will be healthy. She will be a leader. She will be a badass.

Image courtesy of Civilian Military Combine.

Linked In

Some of my favorite links this week:

A very interesting take on MET Ball fashion, apparently I wasn't the only one who thought the red carpet fell flat. 

Yep.  I want to do this.  Let's see Paul Allen's card.

I am making this perfectly delicious cobbler.  It looks heavenly.

Chrissy Teigen has one of my favorite food blogs, a hilarious Instagram and one very handsome fiance.  Last week, she tweeted about one of the 'Teen Moms' (and her unnecessary place in our culture) and got a shocking amount of backlash.  Well...here is her rebuttal.  

Didn't your Mom tell you to kill people with kindness?  Yeah, I have a few people I'd like to send this pie to...  

I have a lot of weddings this summer and this is the perfect dress.  Dammit, I love Tibi.

Good Intentions

Image courtesy of Hip Hip Gin Gin.

The Signs Are Everywhere

My girlfriends and I talk about relationships and dating a lot.  All of my best friends are in long-term, serious relationships and some of them seem to think it's sooo fabulous that I'm single in Manhattan.  I will be the first to say that fabulous definitely isn't the right word for it.  It's....interesting.  To say the least.  Am I open to a relationship?  Absolutely.  But I'm definitely not one of those "I'm no one unless someone loves me" sort of girls so I refuse to settle down or get serious with someone unless it's the right person.  Dating is great...and it's awful.  It's full of love, it's full of heartbreak and like anything, it has it's highs and lows.

That being said, I've found that a lot of girls around me seem to fall into that dangerous zone of dating someone who isn't right for them just because it's easier than not dating anyone at all.  "But we've already been together so long" or "all of the good ones are already taken" is just nonsense and it's a really bad way to look at your love life and those you allow very personal access to it.  If deep down, you know this person isn't right for you, you aren't being fair to yourself or to them.  While I understand that I'm obviously nowhere near a relationship guru, below are some of my tips to let you know if you're dating the wrong person.

You or your partner are cheating:

Cheating is never a good sign and it's officially time to get out if it's happening to you - it's the ultimate form of disrespect and something I have no tolerance for.  If you are the cheater, you need to end the relationship immediately.  You don't respect the other person in your life and it shows that you're looking to other people to get what you need.

If being with your partner leaves you drained or depressed:

The person you're dating should make you feel great about yourself and generally be a fantastic person to be around.  Someone who insults, doubts or exhausts you is not someone you need to spend time with.

If your sex life is lacking sparks:

There is nothing like sexual chemistry.  You need sparks.  Now don't get me wrong, not every sexual encounter needs to be a recreated porn scene, but if your sexual connection is flat in the first couple of months of a relationship, chances are it won't get much hotter.

If you have never been introduced to their friends and family:

Obviously in the beginning, there's a natural grace period before this person introduces you to the important people in their life.  BUT months down the road, if this person is strategically trying to keep you at bay, they may not look at you with any kind of permanence.

If you have differing views about marriage:

If you're looking to eventually get married and have a family, dating someone who wants to live like Clooney doesn't really make sense.  A lot of people think they can change someone's mind but, friends, you can't change anyone.  

Daydreaming with Andrea Cardinali

Today's Daydreaming feature is a chance for me to introduce you to one of my favorite people,  Andrea Cardinali.  She has become a very good friend of mine through Jen, Jaclene and the girls from Westchester.  And yes - it seems like when it comes to my NYC friend circle, all roads lead back to that damn town.

Andrea worked in commodities and finance for the past seven years, but thankfully she's seen the light and is now spending her time finding ways to use her artistic talents over those boring mathematical ones.  Well...that and she is just entirely too hot to spend her days down on Broad Street in a pantsuit.  Andrea is also one of the biggest reasons that I spend a lot of my weekends running through the mud, carrying sandbags and crawling under assorted atrocities in the woods.  She's amazing...read below and you'll see why.

5 places you want to visit in your lifetime:

Sardinia

Mykonos

Cape Town

Madrid

Paris

Four photos of how you envision your life in 5 years:

Go-To Drink:
Champagne.  That's not current though...that's always.

Something I've been daydreaming about lately:
The future...the past...pretty much anything happy that comes to mind.

Currently listening to:
Justin Timberlake's The 20/20 Experience.  No judging.

Currently reading:
Divergent by Veronica Roth.

Current favorite quote:

Oh Etta...

J. Crew's Etta Pumps are my obsession of the moment.  J. Crew has been the love of my life for the past couple of seasons, and these pumps are just complete standouts.  Either covered in sequins, tweed, leopard calf hair, snakeskin or with a bright cap toe - they are delicious and I want to start collecting many, many pairs.  Fabulous shoes like these never go out of style.

The chunky heel is sleek, yet substantial and they are fabulous (and comfortable enough) to perfectly transition from day to night.  Something about that chunky heel gives them a touch of old school glamour that I just can't get enough of.  For your pair (or pairs), swing by J. Crew and give Jenna and Mickey a little more of your money...

Channeling My Inner Ina

It's not a secret that I love to cook. On a rainy Saturday like today, there isn't much better than digging through a cookbook, spending $200 at Whole Foods (I'm convinced you can't get out of there for under $100), and spending a relaxing evening drinking wine, listening to music and cooking.  Lately spending quiet nights in with people I really enjoy are a lot more fun than spending loud nights out with obnoxious strangers at bars.  Yes friends...I'm getting old.

Speaking of digging through cookbooks, I have a pretty extensive collection and the four below need to become permanent members of the family.  Something has happened in the past couple of years and cookbooks are receiving the same attention as art books - they are absolutely gorgeous now.  The photography, the font, the stories are all really well done and very visual.

To pick up the beauties above:

It's All Good by Gwyneth Paltrow

Foolproof by Ina Garten (I'm obsessed with the Barefoot Contessa)

The Sprouted Kitchen by Sara Forte

Plenty by London's Ottolenghi