I consider myself a trained professional at red carpet gawking. I've gotten quite good at camouflaging the eye brow raises or jaw dropping that comes from an attending celebrity showing up looking either amazing or like a complete train wreck. The red carpet arrivals at the Academy Awards (aka the Gay Olympics) are the apex of awards season which means this blog - like about 500,000 others - are all hell-bent on declaring the good vs the bad...
Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Couture.
Cate is so perfectly fashion forward that she NEVER disappoints. The color, the beading, the pilgrim sleeves, her perfect cheekbones...sigh. Dying over this dress.
Hilary Swank in Gucci Premiere.
I'm a sucker for a train, especially a feathered train. This dress is gorgeous, but I just wish she had worn a little more makeup or a little more jewelry. A little more something.
Halle Berry in Marchesa.
My jaw literally dropped when I saw this. She is wearing the HELL out of this dress.
Celine Dion in Armani Prive.
I never thought I'd actually type the words, "Celine Dion looks stunning." But wow, she looks amazing, especially after having twins like 5 minutes ago.
Mila Kunis in Elie Saab.
This dress is perfect. PERFECT. Holy shit.
Melissa Leo in Marc Bouwer.
I didn't love this at first - it seemed like a doily laid over some gold foil. But during her acceptance speech (which was adorably heartwarming especially because of that F-bomb) you could see it up close and it looked fantastically intricate.
Anne Hathaway in Oscar de la Renta.
Not only was this dress the best of her 8 changes, but it looked like a hell of a lot of fun to wear. It was perfectly Tina Turner-esque. Her hosting on the other hand? Yikes. She was like Lea Michele on Dexatrim.
Natalie Portman in Rodarte.
How many times do I have to say it? Step 1: Call Heidi Klum. Step 2: Ask her what she would wear if she were pregnant. Step 3: Wear the goddamn dress.
Reese Witherspoon in Armani Prive.
She looks like a poor-man's Julia Roberts circa the Erin Brockovich Oscar year.
Marisa Tomei in Charles James.
This woman has too stunning of a body to be wearing a dress that makes her look bloated. And all of that tulle....ugh. I hope she's using to her advantage and hiding some really comfortable shoes under there. Even that dreamboat behind her in violet is wondering WTF she was thinking.
Michelle Williams in Oscar de la Renta.
She looks so washed out. She's pretty, like a tiny little pixie, but she looks all one color. Was that the point? I guess they all can't be yellow Vera Wangs...
Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein.
She remembers that she's at the Oscars right? That this a really big moment for her and THE BIGGEST AWARD SHOW IN THE WORLD? She needs to fire her stylist for directly copying Scarlett Johansson at the Golden Globes a few years back.