This Royal Wedding is everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE. To be fair, Kate Middleton is casually fabulous and seems to be pretty normal. She actually seems a little too good to be true, if you know what I mean. So good, in fact, that it leads me to think she may have been created in some kind of "princess E-Z bake oven" out in the misty hills of England. One random day she just sort of popped out with those great teeth, the endless hat collection, just trotted on down to London in one of those chic suits she's been wearing.
My real concern is that this poor girl now has a lifetime of obnoxious Brits (and even more obnoxious Americans) scrutinizing every move she makes and every outfit she puts on. In theory, its fun to say that I would like to be a princess - a real one, mind you, not the self-created princess that I consider myself to be - but in actuality, it seems to be a nightmare. There is endless protocol, countless rules, and about 1000 fun things that she can no longer do.
I was thinking about all of this on the treadmill this morning and after some research, I've come up with about 10 reasons why that poor girl needs to needs to avoid marrying Prince William at all costs...
1- YOU HAVE TO DEFRIEND ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONABLE FRIENDS
Pretty much all of my friends are questionable in their own little way because let's be honest, I'm no saint. Have you met Billy Rosser? Do you know my friend Ian? Have you been around Jaclene on a tequila night? I have to tell them to hit the road? Not doin' it.
2- YOUR INCOME IS AN ALLOWANCE
Kate isn't allowed to make her own money (trust me, I'm touching on that in a minute) and although she landed the golden goose, she doesn't have much access to their finances. The Queen gives them both an allowance, and eventhough I'm sure it's more than $10 a week, I would NOT want to wait for that old Shrew to put some nickels in my hand everytime I wanted a new dress.
3- YOU CAN'T SWEAR
As it was a concentrated effort to not drop an F-bomb in church on Easter Sunday, this rule would not fly. Sometimes it's really fun to curse, but to have it banned for a lifetime? Fuck that.
4- YOU CAN'T WORK
On one hand it sounds pretty fun to live off of your husband's money, never work, and become a lady who lunches. On the other hand...how dreadfully boring. Any chance of actualizing lifelong dreams of an amazing career are out the door.
5- YOU EAT WHEN THE QUEEN EATS
If you are at a dinner table with the Queen and she stops eating, you must stop as well. I mean, this explains all of the weight Kate has lost. Seriously. Have you ever had dinner with an old lady? They have (at most) four bites of food.
6- NO PUBLIC FIGHTING
Every couple in the WORLD has had a few drunken, knock down, drag-out fights on the street. It happens and it keeps things in perspective. I understand that it's tacky and not all that productive, but to have a mandate against never calling your boyfriend a douchebag on the street? No bueno.
7- NO CRAZY SEX
If you are living in the royal quarters, I am assuming that it's lights out by 10pm and I also assume that even the sound of a penny dropping would awaken that old Queen. AKA no loud moaning, intense shrieks, or bringing home a third party swinger (what?? people DO that?). Actually, I have no idea if they'll be living WITH the Queen, but I would feel as though that woman's eyes were constantly watching and I would just never want to ever have sex.
8- NO DRUNK NIGHTS OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS
Even the most loyal girl needs a few nights out in the tiniest skirt possible, surrounded by your tipsy girlfriends. Sometimes you just want to shake your ass a little and wear something tight.
9- YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE AN HEIR TO THE THRONE
Yes, he's a cute little nugget but I don't really want to have children. At all. Ever. And I know that providing the next ruler of England is important everything but....can we just...not?
10- NO PRIVACY EVER, EVER AGAIN
Every vacation, sickness, bad hair day, extra 5 pounds gained or lost, argument, or hangover is captured by the 123,034,340 paparazzi and then splashed in the British tabloids for all to discuss and mock. The only option is perfection 24/7. Good luck, girl.
I have a bit of an obsession with French women. They were born with an ability to messily tie scarves and not brush their hair in a way that leaves Americans sighing with envy. One of my fave Parisiennes (with the exception of Ines de la Fressange - she literally is the French aunt I always wished I had) is Garance Dore. Not only is she one half of an impossibly cool fashion couple - the other half being Scott Schuman - but she is incredibly sweet, has achingly cool style sense, and is an amazing illustrator. I came upon the illustrations on her site a few weeks ago and have been entranced ever since.
Garance got her start as an illustrator in Paris and developed a cult following within fashion circles. There is something very pure in her creations and they are all drawn with simple lines and unexpected splashes of color. From her sketches to her photographs to her blog, everything seems very carefully thought out in Garance's world. I like that.
Easter is my favorite zombie-related holiday. One of the best things about Easter Sunday when I was younger (aside from the Easter basket my mom would fill with makeup and perfume) was getting an Easter dress. In Colorado, Easter usually meant that winter and snow was officially over, and obviously the best way to mark that was by purchasing a brand new pastel dress. Other kids would be stuck going to church, and I would be sitting in front of the mirror in my little frock putting on waaaay too much lipgloss.
You had better believe I'm buying myself an Easter dress when I get out of work today. And come Sunday - even though I have to go to church - I'll still probably have on too much lipgloss. Old habits die hard.
So if you haven't picked one up yet, below are some dresses that are very Easter-worthy.
Alice + Olivia Coral Gita Peplum T-Shirt Dress - $297
In college I was a total sucker for Laguna Beach. It was definitely faux-reality TV but it set the tone for my obsession of glossy, catty, reality TV that I'm embarrassed to love so much. Laguna Beach spiraled into The Hills, which has more recently spiraled into the Real Housewives of...well, anywhere other than Miami or D.C. But to backtrack a bit, Laguna Beach started it all. Adorable blonde girls with their adorable blonde girl problems and at the center of all of that was Lauren Conrad. She bowed out of The Hills before it got REALLY SCARYand has moved on to write a few beach books (which ended up being New York Times best-sellers), designed a short lived fashion collection, and today she launched a beauty website.
I'll be honest, I didn't want to like The Beauty Department, but it's pretty great. Granted, it's only a day old but there is already a great hair how-to and a cute ode to Kate Hudson. You should definitely bookmark it - I think it's only going to get better.
I missed Coachella this past weekend. I missed the 3.1 Philip Lim pool party, and the Lacoste House, and Kanye, and Mumford & Sons, and riding the ferris wheel while under the influence of something psychedelic. Sigh. We waited too long to buy passes (who knew it was going to sell out in one day??) and I've been sobbing ever since. As much as it pains me to paw through the all of the style photos, it seems like most of the attendees threw down some very serious steeze. Isn't it funny to watch these glamazon celebs transform into Penny Lane for the weekend?
This photo of Kate Bosworth is everywhere right now and rightfully so - she looks like a walking how-to guide on what every girl should wear to a festival...ever.
I kind of love that Harley Viera-Newton looks this chic in some kind of mushroom garden.
Diane Kruger. Hot hot hot.
Only when it's Robert Downey Jr, will I not only excuse this absurd hat BUT I will also say it's pretty cool. Only in this instance. Only for Iron Man.
Alessandra Ambrosio is perfectly accessorized.
Sunnies make the best decoration.
Any images not my own are courtesy of Refinery29 , Getty Images, or The Glamourai.
I am about 6 years into an absolute love affair with Zara. When I was in Barcelona during my senior year of college, I came back with tons of well-made, affordable, perfectly-on-trend clothes from a store that I naively assumed was my little secret. Well, it's no secret, and thank God as about half of my wardrobe stems from Zara. Their April lookbook (and everything currently in stores) is amazing. It seems like every time I walk by one on the street, I buy another piece. The bright colors and sexy silks are very Gucci SS11 at a FRACTION of the price.
One of my fave things about Zara is that they don't fall into the H&M trap of partnering with designers for capsule collections or casting Gisele for their ad campaign. I mean come on, how many $4 tank tops did they have to sell to snag her? Zara just consistently cranks out quality clothes month after month. I just hope there are Zara's in LA...
Below are some fabulous little doodads and random things to take you into the weekend. For all of you at Coachella right NOW...my jealousy is out of control. But on another more responsible note, I'm kind of looking forward to a mellow Saturday, a bowling birthday party tonight, and our photo shoot tomorrow. Have a great weekend my lovelies.
These camping cord/carabiner bracelets are too fierce. I found them on Etsy and I'm snagging one asap.
As much as I love this adorable umbrella, I would never want to get it wet. It's just waay too pretty to be functional. So true to form, I would end up walking around with it in my tote while I buy yet ANOTHER crappy $5 one off of the street.
As many of you know, my obsession with Tom Ford runs deep. He's sexy - it's just an undeniable fact - and it seems as though everything he touches turns, well, even sexier. While we were doing his Beverly Hills flagship opening in February, I found yet another reason to obsess....Lavender Palm. Ford chose the Rodeo Drive store to exclusively carry Tom Ford Lavender Palm (only for a six-month exclusive until it goes global), a fragrance he feels best evokes the image of California's "sparkling sunlight, natural blossoms, and expansive coastlines." It's lightyears away from Tuscan Leather, a scent that smelled like cocaine and Black Orchid, which he wanted to smell like a man's crotch.
So yes, Lavender Palm is so delicious that stopping by the store to purchase some might be one of the first things I do after our plane lands. $250 for 50ml is a bit steep, I know, but I just NEED to smell like this. It's like leather, and sex, and lavender, and the way your skin smells after a great day at the beach ALL merged into one gorgeous silver bottle.