We don't often chat about relationships over here at D&D, but last night over sushi, an interesting topic came up -- staying friends with exes. Are any of you friends with your ex? I am actually a huge fan of this and try, when I can, to stay friendly with my ex-boyfriends. Is this weird?
The way I see it, at my age the men I date (I'm talking dating as in exclusively dating not as in the boring date with that Patrick Bateman-esque investment banker from a few weeks ago) all have the potential to become the person I spend the rest of my life with. This has definitely made me much more selective and I've been lucky to spend time with a few guys who (for the most part) have been pretty great people. It seems so wasteful and neflectful of the time spent together to just turn off any friendliness. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not chatting with these fellas every night but for the few old boyfriends that I still talk to, it's nice to know that they're doing well. My college boyfriend (and one of the most amazing people I know) is getting married this weekend and I couldn't be happier for him.
Inversely, I really don't have a problem if my boyfriends are still friendly with their exes. I'm not a very jealous person by nature, but as long as there isn't any funny business going on, there really doesn't need to be a dramatic argument every time your boyfriend or husband's college girlfriend shoots him an email. Relax. He's with YOU, falling asleep next to YOU, and laughing at YOUR stupid jokes. Look at it this way: those girls didn't work out for a reason.
If you are genuinely interested in befriending an old boyfriend and girlfriend, you had better be sure that you aren't using the "let's be friends" trick as a way to get them back. That's lame. Give them a call. Grab a beer. Regardless of how ugly it may have ended, time (usually) does heal all wounds and chances are, that old nonsense you used to fight about is probably pretty funny by now.