Olympic Proportions

The Olympics are almost here!  I love the Summer Olympics.  Love the pageantry, love the competition, love how random people in bars become faux-experts on obsure sports like fencing, love the sense of national pride and come on, how can you not love watching the sexiest, most efficient bodies on the planet?  Literally, these people are the very best that good genes, unbelievable discipline and millions of dollars in endorsements could produce.  That is probably also why, according to reports, Olympic Village ordered 100,000 condoms for the 2012 games.  That's a lot of sex.  I understand that athletes at an Olympic level have to display an unnatural level of focus leading up to their competition and I understand that it can then manifest itself into quite a release of pent-up hedonism.  But 100,000 condoms?  Wow.

On that note, the US is sending some very attractive, very capable Americans across the pond.  Not only are they gorgeous and have less percent body fat than a gnat, but each are just so, so good at their respective sport. 

Lolo Jones

I ran track for nine years and didn't even dream of being as good or as fast as Lolo.  She is a big part of the reason why I'm so excited to watch this year's sprinting events because she is a BEAST.  She got a lot of press a few months ago because she admitted to Bryant Gumbel that she's still a virgin.  Who cares?  This girl is gorgeous and fast as hell.



Ryan Lochte

Ryan Lochte is kind of hard to avoid lately.  Because he has an Abercrombie & Fitch level of hotness, he's been in 90% of the NBC/Olympics promos, has been in almost every magazine from Vogue to Mens Health to TIME and is in a Nissan, AT&T, Gatorade and Gillette commercial.  I'm not complaining.  I vote to put him in every commercial until the Olympics are over.  Maybe a guest spot on True Blood or a cameo on The Big Bang Theory.  Keep him on TV.  In all seriousness though, he's won six Olympic medals and swims like a fish.  His races are going to be, um...huge.

Jordyn Wieber

It is impossible to not love the gymnastics part of any OIympics.  I dare you to find one little girl who isn't in awe of those girls flinging themselves around and leaping on balance beams.  It's amazing.  Bob Costas said that Jordyn is bound to be the most dominant US gymnast and I think that when it comes to these things, Bob is kind of the authority.  She's only eighteen (middle-aged in gymnast years and I think ancient if you are from Russia, Romania or the Ukraine) but when she was four years old, was quoted saying that it was "time to get serious as a gymnast."  Amazing.

Tyson Gay

This is just one girl's opinion, but if it weren't for Usain Bolt, I think Tyson Gay will win a gold medal in the 100M sprint.  He's been chasing Bolt (how can you not be fast with a last name like that) for years and I think this year is it.  How cool would it be for a country kid from Kentucky to be the fastest man on the planet?



I hope everyone is tuning into the Opening Ceremony on Friday on NBC at 2PM or 7:30PM (tape delay).  Go USA!