Trick or Treat

Repeat after me girls, "I will not be a slutty ________ this Halloween."  Be something funny, be something random, but dammit PLEASE don't be something skanky that you picked up at Ricky's on your way home from work.  You're better than that.

I don't know about you, but I am obsessed with Halloween.  OBSESSED.  There is just nothing more fun than getting all dressed up and spending the night drinking, dancing and Instagramming with your friends.  From Flava Flav to Lady Gaga to Marie Antoinette, I start planning this stuff in mid-July.  I'm sick.  I know.  It's fine.  But if you left your costume choice to the 11th hour, don't be alarmed - there are some awesome options that are easier than you'd think and do not involve cheap red devil horns from CVS.

Terry Richardson

You'll Need:

• Red Flannel Shirt
• Temporary Sleeve of Tattoos
• Moscot Glasses
• Black Camera
• Constant Thumbs Up and Creepy Grin

Honey Boo Boo

You'll Need:

• Bright Sequined Minidress (preferably with some kind of frills on the bottom)
• Your hair in ringlets
• Big tiara
• To say "A Dolla Make Me Holla" all night

Tanned Mom

You'll Need:

• Bronzer.  A lot of bronzer.
• Blonde wig a la Suze Orman

Zoolander

You'll Need:

• A black spiky wig
• Black/White headband
• Black/White shirt
• To be really, really, ridiculously good looking